


I Nail My Heart Under the Floorboards

by soudesuwu



Series: Sylvix Week 2019 [5]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Briefly and not in detail, Enemies to Lovers, I Like Kissing, I'm gay, M/M, No Spoilers, and i don't think i did too great, but like, i too want to kiss sylvain, i'm sorry i suck at tagging, it's one sided - Freeform, kind of, lots of kissing though, or felix, they don't do anything sexual, they talk about it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-17
Updated: 2019-10-17
Packaged: 2020-12-21 06:24:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21070352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soudesuwu/pseuds/soudesuwu
Summary: If Felix knew one thing for sure, it was that he didnotlike Sylvain Jose Gautier.





	I Nail My Heart Under the Floorboards

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Sylvix day 5! Enemies to Friends to Lovers!  
This was probably the hardest one for me to write so far, and I restarted so many times. I feel like it's the weakest one I've made.   
But I hope it gives you some sort of enjoyment!  
Kind of a slow start. 
> 
> Title is from "Call my Name" by The Unlikely Candidates bc i love that song

If Felix knew one thing for sure, it was that he did _not_ like Sylvain Jose Gautier. 

Ever since they were little, Felix would always challenge Sylvain. Whether it was to spar with wooden swords, or a card game. No matter what, Sylvain always won. Felix was convinced that Sylvain was cheating somehow. He had to be. No one can ever win _that_ much.

Glenn would tell Felix that since Sylvain was older, he was smarter, and his training had started earlier. Sylvain always took it in stride, his smirk never leaving his face, even while Felix cried to Glenn. 

After Glenn’s passing, his rivalry with Sylvain only intensified, this time having no one to fall back on. Felix devoted every waking moment to training, and whenever Sylvain was around, he would challenge him, tossing a sword or lance without so much of a _‘hello'._ Sylvain would accept these challenges, and give Felix a fight, never letting the younger boy win, but he wouldn’t go too hard on him. He never really understood what it was that made Felix dislike him so much, he never had any ill feelings towards the younger boy. 

As the years passed, Felix's animosity towards Sylvain turned into disgust. He watched as Slyvain would flirt with any girl who gave him a passing glance. Sometimes even guys. If they gave him even a chance. 

It reached a point where even Felix wasn't sure why he was annoyed with Sylvain, he just knew that Sylvain annoyed him. 

"Hey, Felix! Wait up!" Sylvain called out to Felix. The two were attending the Officer's Academy at Garreg Mach Monastery. Felix was heading towards the training hall, ready to spend the rest of his day practicing his swordsmanship. At the sound of Sylvain, he quickly hurried his steps. "Felix, where are you headed?" 

Felix looked up at Sylvain and rolled his eyes, "Where do you think I'm headed?" He tilted his head in the general direction of the training hall. 

Sylvain looked ahead, then back at Felix, "Oh, can I join you? Maybe I can help?"

"I don't need help." Felix crossed his arms over his chest, "But if you so feel the need to train as well, come along. Just don't get in my way." 

"Oh, usually you would leap at the chance to fight me, what's so different now?" Sylvain grinned, and followed along as Felix continued along his way. 

Felix gritted his teeth, trying to ignore Sylvain, but he couldn’t. Sylvain talked to him the rest of the walk to the training hall. When they finally walked through the doors, Felix turned to Sylvain, “Alright, that’s enough. If you want to be with me so badly, grab a damn weapon, let’s fight.” Felix swore he saw the corners of Sylvain’s mouth twitch. _Damned smirk._

Sylvain positioned himself after grabbing a lance, his weapon of choice. He waited for Felix to get into a position across from him. Once Felix gave the signal, they were fighting. Their sparring was quiet, soft grunts and the sound of their feet hitting the ground was the only noise in the hall. They continued to fight like that for a few moments, and then paused, taking a small break. Felix had noted that while they fought, Sylvain purposefully made mistakes, giving Felix openings in his attacks. Sylvain was more careful than that, never letting Felix win. 

“Why are you going easy on me?” Felix asked, glaring at Sylvain. 

Sylvain shook his head, “No, I’m not,” Felix could tell when he was lying, “It’s been a while since we sparred, maybe I’m just out of practice.” 

“Don’t lie to me, Sylvain.” Felix pointed his sword at the other, “If you want to actually train with me, do it correctly. Otherwise leave.” 

Sylvain’s brow furrowed, “Fine.” He said, and charged at Felix. The smaller male managed to step out of the way, but quickly shoved his sword in front of him, blocking another attack. Sylvain was on the offencive this round, Felix found that he needed to be quicker on his feet. This was also different from how Sylvain usually fought, but Felix would prefer this over whatever the hell it was he was doing before. 

After a few other attacks, Sylvain stepped away, swung his lance out, catching Felix in his leg. Felix cried out, falling to his knee. He glanced back up at Sylvain as he swung again. Felix rolled to the side, and as Sylvain tried to strike him again, he blocked the attack with the sword. Instead of retracting, Sylvain pushed in with the lance, holding it with both hands. Felix felt Sylvain’s strength, as he pressed down on Felix. Felix saw Sylvain’s expression, where at one point it was about having fun, it now changed to something much more serious. Something predatory. Felix felt a pulse of heat rush to his stomach. 

Within seconds, Felix felt his hands lose the grip on his sword, as Sylvain put more pressure down on him. The sword slipped out of his hands, and Sylvain then pushed down, pinning Felix against the ground. Felix protected himself, gripping the lance. Sylvain had the lance pressed against Felix’s chest, and even when Felix struggled, Sylvain didn’t budge.

“Okay, you win, let me go.” 

Sylvain glared down at Felix, yet he didn’t let up. “I have a few questions for you first.” 

“What?” Felix asked, suddenly feeling like caught prey. 

“Why do you hate me so much?” Sylvain asked, “And I know you can’t deny it, ever since we were little, you’ve disliked me. Back then, I thought it was some silly competition thing, but you’ve actively always wanted to fight me. You’re always insulting me, and rolling your eyes whenever I say anything.” Felix thought he heard a crack in his voice, “I just want to know why you hate me?”

Felix stopped struggling against Sylvain, instead stared up at him, feeling incredibly guilty He… _didn’t really know._ He just knew that everytime he saw Sylvain, he wanted to put as much distance between them as possible. But the more he thought about it, that aversion only started in recent years. Since Sylvain grew into his lanky form, building muscle. He especially noticed it when Sylvain flirted with one of the maids at the Fraldarius manor. The more Felix was forced to think about it, he realized that it wasn’t hatred he felt towards Sylvain. The moment Felix felt the word slip into his mind, he started struggling again, feeling his face flush, and a feeling in the pit of his chest.

“Felix, answer me!” Sylvain called out, his voice harsh, and loud. 

“I just hate…” Felix started, no, “I’m not… It’s not… I don’t hate you, I hate the things you do, the way you flirt with every girl you see and your… and I hate your stupid smirk, and that stupid twinkle you get in your eye whenever you think you’ve won.” He rambled. He wanted out of this situation, he wanted to be away from Sylvain. 

He felt Sylvain lift the lance away from his chest, and Felix crawled away, glaring at Sylvain. He got up and tried to run, but Sylvain grabbed his arm, “Can you just talk to me?” He asked, a soft, hurt tone to his voice. Felix looked up at his eyes, and felt guilty again. “Felix, I care about you, I just want you to know that.” 

He let go, and Felix hesitated. His fingers twitched, as he reached out for Sylvain’s hand, “I’m sorry.” He said, giving Sylvain’s hand a small squeeze, before turning away and running towards the doors. 

Felix made it to his bedroom, and leaned against his closed door. He placed his hand over his heart, feeling it beat really fast. He ran his fingers through his hair, before sliding down against the door, sitting on the wooden floor. 

The next few days, he did his best to avoid Sylvain, despite them being in the same class and the same house. Felix also skipped his training, opting to go straight to his room after classes. 

A week passed, and Sylvain pulled Felix aside. "Felix, please talk to me. You've been avoiding me all week." Sylvain had a tight grip on Felix's wrist, "Please tell me what I did." 

Felix shook his head, "You didn't _do anything,_ Sylvain. I… I'm the one who is an asshole. I've been… unfair to you, and you don't deserve any of it. I'm sorry."

Sylvain smiled softly, "Felix, it's okay. You're just one of my best friends and I never understood why you were always so angry with me. I mean, I still don't completely understand, but I guess we're getting somewhere."

Felix nodded, as Sylvain put a hand on his shoulder, “Let’s go get dinner, it’ll be my treat.” He smiled, and Felix felt his heart beat just a little faster. Again, he nodded, letting Sylvain drape his arm across his shoulder and lead him to the dining hall. As they sat at the table, surrounded by their other friends, Felix watched as Sylvain talked to Ingrid and Ashe,and joked with Dimitri. His laugh and his smile were making Felix feel small butterflies in his chest. 

“Felix?” Annette broke in, “Felix are you alright? You’re… smiling.” 

He turned to look at Annette, raising his eyebrow. “What?” He asked. She was grinning, and her eyes looked from him to Sylvain, as if sensing what he was feeling.

“Felix,” Her voice dropped to a whisper, “You’re smiling at _Sylvain_, are you okay?” She started giggling. 

Mercedes, sitting across from Annette, glanced over, “What’s so funny, Annie?” 

Felix shook his head, “She’s laughing at a little song she made up.” Attempting to divert attention to her. 

Annette continued to giggle, “Yeah, it goes like ‘Felix and Syl-” She didn’t have a chance to continue before Felix pressed his hand against her mouth, silencing her song. She smiled at Felix and pulled at his hand, “I’m sorry, I’ll stop.” She said, “Your secret is safe with me.” She grinned. 

“There is no secret, so keep your mouth shut.” He muttered, leaning closer to her. 

“If there’s no secret, why do I have to keep quiet?” She asked. 

Mercedes had leaned over the table at this point, “Is this about your crush on Sylvain?” She asked, her voice a whisper.

Felix glared at her, “No.” He muttered. “I do not… just... stop talking to me.” He stammered, his face feeling hot. 

He turned back to the table, and realized that Ashe and Ingrid had tuned into the conversation, “What’s going on with Felix?” Ingrid leaned onto the table, resting her chin on her hand. 

Felix rolled his eyes, “Nothing, I’m leaving now.” He muttered, swinging out of his chair. He left the dining hall, aware of the rest of his classmates watching him, aware of Sylvain asking if anything was wrong. 

He found himself in the training hall, his mind was racing, and his feet just carried him to the hall. Felix shrugged, and grabbed a wooden sword, ready to get this anxious feeling out. He swung at the training dummy. 

He did _not_ a crush on Sylvain. Everything that he felt in the past was just friendly. He had settled on just friendly competitions and stupid wagers. Sylvain was nothing more than a friend to him. Felix kept repeating _ we’re just friends_ over and over in his mind. Yet if his feelings were more than just friendly, and being an asshole to Sylvain was the only way he could cover them up, there was no way that Sylvain would be so willing to _be_ with Felix so easily. Regardless, Felix could have very well just destroyed one of the only relationships he treasured. 

“You’re really destroying that thing.” A voice broke through his thoughts. Felix blinked, realizing that the training dummy was about to fall apart at the seams. He turned towards the entrance, and Sylvain stood there, leaning against the door frame. His arms were crossed over his chest, his legs crossed at the ankles. 

“How long have you been standing there?” Felix asked, suddenly feeling cautious.

Sylvain shrugged, “Since you took the first swing.” He smiled softly, “Something is bothering you, and I can’t help but think that it’s still me.” He looked at the ground. 

Felix stared at the man in the doorway, “What makes you think that?” He asked, not doing the best job of keeping his voice steady. 

“You kept muttering my name while you struck the dummy.” Sylvain looked back up at him, and then at the dummy. “There are two possibilities that I keep cycling through,” He held up a finger, “One is that you absolutely hate me, want me dead, and you’re practicing how you will kill me.” He put up a second finger, “Or two, you like me more than you actually want, and want me dead, and you’re practicing how you’re going to kill me.” 

Felix relaxed his shoulders, “I don’t hate you…” He muttered. 

“I find that really hard to believe.” 

“I…” Felix faltered at the words, “I hate what… what you do to me.” When Sylvain kept quiet, Felix continued, looking at the ground, the sword, anything to avoid his eyes, “You make me… feel things a certain way, and I don’t like it. When I see you smile, or hear you laugh, I get this feeling in my stomach and in my chest, like butterflies fluttering around. Everytime you smile at me, I hate the way my face feels warm and how I just can’t think of the right words to say.” Felix kept his gaze fixed at the _most interesting_ spot on the ground. “It’s not you I hate, it’s my feelings I hate. I get so anxious when you’re around, which is probably why I make us spar more often than not. But last week, when you won, and pinned me down, whatever it was that I felt only intensified.” 

Sylvain was silent, instead just walked closer to Felix. He placed a hand on his shoulder, placing the other under Felix’s chin, lifting his face up to make him look at Sylvain. Sylvain simply smiled, “Let me know how this feels,” he said before bending down to kiss Felix. 

Felix’s eyes fluttered shut, his heart was beating way too fast, and he had no clue what to do with his hands. For once, he wasn’t swimming in a pool of thoughts, and the only thing that slipped through his mind was how soft Sylvain’s lips were. Sylvain’s hand slid down his arm, wrapping around his hand, interlocking their fingers. The hand under his chin slipped to his neck, tilting his head. Felix dropped the sword, raising his hand to Sylvain’s chest, resting it just above his heart. He felt Sylain’s heart beating just as fast, if not faster than his own. 

When Sylvain pulled away, Felix found himself chasing his lips, suddenly craving more. Felix’s fingers curled into Sylvain’s collar. 

“Well?” Sylvain asked, after a moment of silence, his smirk plastered on his face. 

Felix glanced up at him. Instead of answering him, he tugged at the collar of Sylvain’s jacket, pulling him back down, pressing their lips together again. Sylvain let go of his hand, wrapping his arm around Felix’s waist, pulling him closer. Felix wanted this, Goddess, he’s wanted this for so long. Watching Sylvain flirt with other girls, talking about how he brought someone to his room. Wishing so badly that he wanted to be in that position. The jealousy he felt towards not receiving the attention he craved so badly. The anger he felt towards himself for not being more upfront with his intentions. Everything melted away in that moment. 

He felt Sylvain start to move, walking Felix backwards towards the far wall, pressing him against it, and as their kissing progressed into something deeper, Felix felt something within him grow. Sylvain had a hand pressed against the wall, another held onto Felix, still cradling his neck. Felix felt Sylvain open his mouth, and his tongue brushed against his own lips. He opened his mouth and Sylvain began to explore his mouth, brushing his tongue against the roof of his mouth, along the back of his teeth, along his tongue. Felix groaned, as he moved his tongue against Sylvain’s in response. 

A moment later they broke apart, breathing heavily, a strand of saliva connecting them. Felix wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. 

Sylvain ran his fingers over Felix’s forehead, “You’re beautiful.” He said. “You’re flushed, and you have this cute dazed look in your eyes.” He pressed his lips to Felix’s forehead, “It’s breathtaking.” 

“You’re going to make me sick.” Felix muttered, not knowing what else to say.

Sylvain laughed, Felix felt the butterflies again. 

Felix wanted more of this, he wanted so much more. He wanted Sylvain, and wanted Sylvain to only want _him_. He wanted to be the only person Sylvain flirted with, the only person Sylvain brought to his room. 

As if he read his thoughts, again, Sylvain grabbed his hand again, “Come with me.” Sylvain led him to the dorms, it was dark, and whatever students were still out, weren’t paying attention. Sylvain brought him upstairs, into his room. They barely had the door shut before Sylvain turned back to Felix, pressing him against the door and was kissing him again. Sylvain ran a hand down Felix’s side, sending a shiver up and down his bones. Sylvain’s hand rested at Felix’s waist, his fingers holding him tight. 

Felix reached up, grabbing onto Sylvain’s collar, sliding his hands into the messy red hair. He grabbed onto locks, holding onto them as if at any moment, he would fall. Sylvain pulled him back, leading him to the bed, Sylvain sat down, pulling Felix closer. 

“Wait,” Felix muttered, pulling away, “I don’t know if I can go where I think this is going.” He said, his hesitation stopping him. 

Sylvain smiled softly, “It doesn’t have to go any further than kissing, Felix.” He tucked a strand of raven colored hair behind Felix’s ear, “Whatever you’re comfortable with.” 

Felix nodded, “Then kiss.” He said, leaning into Sylvain. He felt his body move for him, getting up on to Sylvain’s lap, wrapping his legs around his waist.

“When you do that, it kind of makes me think otherwise.” Sylvain whispered.

Felix paused, “Sorry, should I do something else?” He asked, suddenly aware. 

Sylvain looked down at the bed, and wrapped his arms around Felix, “Here, do this instead.” He stood, laying Felix down against the bed, and crawled over him, “How does this feel?” 

Felix felt his breath leave his body. The sight of Sylvain over him sent small tremors through his body. Sylvain reached behind his head, and grabbed the hair tie that kept his hair in the bun, and tugged, letting Felix’s hair fall loose over the pillow. He ran his fingers through the hair, and Felix sighed. Sylvain leaned back down to kiss Felix again, wrapping an arm around his neck. Felix placed his hands on either side of Sylvain’s waist. 

_Sylvain is gentle. He is so gentle, and sweet. And he tastes sweet, and he is so kind, and gentle, and this is nice and this is great, and…_ Felix’s mind began to race again, _he’s soft and sweet and I want more of this and I just want to keep kissing him, and I want to be the only person he kisses…_ Felix grinned to himself. 

They eventually stopped kissing, after a few hours of tumbling on the bed. Sylvain fell asleep, his arms wrapped around Felix, his breathing steady. Felix eyed the dark bruise forming on Sylvain’s neck. He’d experimented. Sylvain gave him a mark, and so Felix wanted to do the same. 

He watched as Sylvain shifted a little in his sleep, still wrapped around Felix. Felix smiled softly to himself. He wanted more of this, more of their kissing, more touching and more tumbling. He wanted more of Sylvain, so much more.

**Author's Note:**

> i feel like i made up for how shitty the beginning was with all of the smoochin at the end.   
another fact is that i cannot end anything well.   
Thank you for reading!


End file.
